#195 What Riders Get Wrong About Confidence — and What I Teach My Clients Instead

There’s a moment right before the gate opens when everything gets loud.

Not outside — inside.

Your horse is fine. The pattern is familiar. But your brain suddenly decides this is the perfect time to replay every ride that didn’t go the way you wanted. And somehow, riders have been taught that if this happens… it means they’re not confident.

That idea? It’s flat-out wrong.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the biggest myths riders believe about confidence — the ones that keep even skilled, hardworking riders feeling inconsistent, tight, and frustrated — and I’m sharing what I actually teach my clients instead. Because confidence isn’t about feeling calm, fearless, or “positive” all the time. It’s not something you either have or don’t.

It’s something you train — in the right order.

We’re talking nervous systems, inner voices, identity, and why “just stay positive” often makes things worse under pressure. I’ll walk you through the exact framework I use with my clients inside Mental Gym for Equestrians so you can understand what confidence is actually made of — and why it stops being so fragile once you build it correctly.

If you or someone you know has benefited from this episode, be sure to tag me @nicoleburnettmentalcoach and @resilientreiner on Instagram and share this episode with your community!

I am genuinely curious to hear what shifted for you while listening.

And if this episode hit home, please leave a review on iTunes — it helps more riders find this work and know they’re not broken or behind.

In This Episode You Will Learn:

• Why confidence is not a personality trait — and why that belief keeps riders stuck
• What’s actually happening in your body when confidence “disappears” under pressure
• Why mindset tools fail when your nervous system is dysregulated
• The difference between conditional confidence and real, durable confidence
• Why confident riders still feel nerves — and what they do differently when they show up
• The exact order confidence needs to be built in (and why most riders get it backwards)
• How to stop treating nerves like an emergency and start treating them like information
• The 4R Framework I use with my clients to build steady, repeatable confidence
• How to stop erasing your progress after one rough ride
• What it actually takes to ride like yourself when pressure is loud

Questions I Answer:

• “Why does your confidence disappear the second something goes wrong?”
• “Why do affirmations work sometimes… but completely fail under pressure?”
• “Why do you feel confident at home but fall apart at shows?”
• “Is confidence supposed to come after the ride goes well?”
• “Why does your brain get so loud even when you know better?”
• “How do confident riders ride forward even when they feel nervous?”
• “What do you do when my inner voice hijacks your timing and decisions?”
• “How do you stop one bad moment from ruining the entire ride?”

Links & Resources:

• 🎯 5 Days to Confident Competitor
• Stop “show nerves” and saddle up with swagger.
• 👉 https://nicoleburnettcoaching.thrivecart.com/5-days-to-confident-competitor/

• 🎯 Mental Gym for Equestrians
• Train your mind like a pro so you ride like one.
• 👉 https://mentalgymforequestrians.com/

• 🎯 Free Weekly Mental Coaching Tips
• Get rider-specific mindset tools in your inbox. Join my email list here.
• 👉https://www.resilientreiner.com/