#196 Horse Show Nerves — Why “Just Stay Positive” Doesn’t Work

There’s always that one moment in the warmup pen where well meaning folks just can’t keep their mouth shut with (unwanted) advice.

“Breathe.”

“Stay positive.”

“Don’t think about it.”

And you’re nodding like, yes, thank you, while your brain is absolutely not receiving the message.

That’s what we’re talking about today.

Because if “just stay positive” actually worked, horse show nerves wouldn’t be such a universal experience. And yet here we are — capable riders, good horses, solid preparation… still dealing with show day anxiety that feels bigger than logic.

In this episode, I’m breaking down why that advice misses the mark, what’s really happening in your nervous system when pressure hits, and how to work with your brain instead of trying to pep-talk it into silence. This is about riding effectively under pressure — not pretending you feel calm when you don’t.

If you or someone you know has benefited from this episode, be sure to tag us @nicoleburnettmentalcoach and @resilientreiner on Instagram and share this episode with your community! I’m genuinely curious to hear what shifted for you.

And if you haven’t already, leaving a review on iTunes helps other riders dealing with show nerves and performance anxiety find this podcast — thank you for being part of that ripple.

In This Episode You Will Learn:

• Why “just stay positive” isn’t a real strategy for horse show anxiety
• What’s actually happening in your nervous system when warmup pen nerves hit
• How toxic positivity can increase negative self-talk under pressure
• The difference between feeling calm and being regulated enough to ride well
• How to replace spiraling thoughts with one clear, controllable cue
• Why pro riders recover faster instead of riding perfectly
• Practical tools to stay present when your brain wants to panic

Questions I Answer:

• Why do show day nerves feel so intense even when I’m prepared?
• Is feeling nervous a sign that I’m not ready?
• Why does my self-talk get harsher the more pressure I’m under?
• What do I do when I can’t calm down before I go in the pen?
• How do I recover mentally after a mistake instead of blowing the whole run?
• What’s a better alternative to “think positive” when my brain is racing?

Links & Resources:

• 🎯 5 Days to Confident Competitor
• Stop “show nerves” and saddle up with swagger.
• 👉 https://nicoleburnettcoaching.thrivecart.com/5-days-to-confident-competitor/
• 🎯 Resilient Reiner Academy
• The confidence to win so you ride like you belong.
• 👉 https://www.nicoleburnettcoaching.com/resilientreineracademy
• 🎯 Mental Gym for Equestrians
• Train your mind like a pro so you ride like one.
• 👉 https://mentalgymforequestrians.com/
• 🎯 Free Weekly Mental Coaching Tips
• Get rider-specific mindset tools in your inbox. Join my email list here.
• 👉https://www.resilientreiner.com/