#174 Stop Wasting Energy Fighting Reality—Here’s What to Do Instead

Truth bomb: Wanting it to be different doesn’t make it so.

In this episode, we’re digging into one of the most overlooked—but powerful—mental performance tools I teach: radical acceptance. Not hustle. Not trying harder. Not demanding that things go your way. But meeting the moment exactly as it is… so you can actually do something about it.

Because here’s the thing—most riders burn out not from the ride itself, but from the resistance. From the frustration of, “My horse shouldn’t be acting like this,” or “I should be further along by now.”

Whether you’re dealing with tech meltdowns in your business, a horse that spooks at air, or a show that goes nothing like you planned, this shift will change how you show up—for real.

And no, radical acceptance doesn’t mean giving up or lowering your standards. It means dropping the drama and meeting reality so you can take smart, steady action in the only moment you truly have power: right now.

If you or someone you know has benefited from this episode, be sure to tag us @nicoleburnettmentalcoach and @resilientreiner on Instagram and share this episode with your community! I’d love to hear what hit home for you—and where you’re practicing radical acceptance in your own riding.

And if this episode gave you a new way of looking at something, please take a second to leave a review on iTunes. Your review helps other riders find the support they need too.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:

• Why radical acceptance is not the same as giving up
• How to stop wasting energy on frustration and start riding from clarity
• Real-life rider (and life!) examples where radical acceptance made all the difference
• How to reclaim your mental energy and confidence—even in moments that feel “off”
• The key difference between reaction mode vs. response mode
• How this mindset shift helps you ride with more trust, more agency, and less mental noise

QUESTIONS I ANSWER:

• What does radical acceptance actually mean, and how does it apply to riding?
• How do you stop spinning out when things don’t go to plan with your horse?
• Isn’t it important to be goal-driven? How do you balance acceptance with ambition?
• What do you do when you’re emotionally flooded or upset about where you're at in your riding?
• How can you use this mindset in real-time—at shows, in the arena, or when life throws curveballs?

LINK/RESOURCES:

• 🎯 5 Days to Confident Competitor. Stop ‘show nerves’ and saddle up with swagger! https://nicoleburnettcoaching.thrivecart.com/5-days-to-confident-competitor/
• 🎯 Resilient Reiner Academy → The confidence to win so you ride like you belong. Sign up here! https://www.nicoleburnettcoaching.com/resilientreineracademy
• 🎯 Mental Gym for Equestrians → Ride like a pro https://mentalgymforequestrians.com/
• 🎯 Get Free Weekly Mental Coaching Tips → Join my email list! Subscribe here